May 1, 2017

"Oh fuck. I'm dating a woman younger than me! Shit, what do young people like? What's this wooden thing with wheels? Do the 'hip kids' use these things? Shit. Okay. Uh. I'll point at it and try to look cool! Yeah! What's up fellow young people!" - Jason, most likely.

April 28, 2017

This is how Joe and Stella are behind Jason's back. At least he knows it now. #WeHateYou #InALovingWay

April 25, 2017

Jason fucking sucks at cards. He sucks at birthdays. THOSE GLASSES ARE STOLEN, GUYS. He's good at getting me drunk though. #JoeIsBetterThanJason #JoeTurns41

April 24, 2017

Shirt untucked, messy hair, hipster glasses. Is Portia really turned on by this? #QuestionsStellaNeedsAnswered

April 21, 2017

I call this one "Pretentious Douchebag Sits in Shitty Instagram Filter". Oil on Canvas. #JoeTakesOver

April 16, 2017

Today, we did our best Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent impressions. And sang the Lego Batman song. For no reason in particular. #ScaredyCat

April 12, 2017

This was on Jason's phone, so we had to post it. Not sure how he managed to get a dog and a bed in a closet though. But stranger things have happened... #JasonLikesSexInClosets #JustAskPortia

April 9, 2017

WHO THE FUCK LET JASON BUY THIS?!?! SAVE THE CHILDREN #AndTheBustyWoman

April 7, 2017

Did you know Jason once ran with the bulls in Spain? #alternativefacts

April 4, 2017

Jason, it's Joe. Can I have my shirt back? (No, seriously, why are you raiding my closet? I know I'm a better dresser than you, and better looking, and just overall a better human being, but come on man. This has got to stop.)

April 3, 2017

I have awful friends. This is actually Jason but hopefully this won't be around much longer.

April 1, 2017

Jason loves Hannibal. #HappyAprilFools #FirstPost #DoWeTellHimAboutThis